I turned 59 recently. There is something about having just one more year left before I turn over to a new decade. Starting about a year ago I started getting these stirrings that I want to have a meaningful, impactful last third of my life here on earth. I know I’m going to heaven and I am so very thankful for my salvation, but what can I do with my time left here? I don’t want to waste any of it.

Sixty has a distinct feel to me because I will start drawing my Army Reserve retirement. At 59 ½ I can start making penalty-free withdrawals from my 401K. This month my husband turns 65- halfway to 70. The only other birthday I remember distinctly was my 18th – I joined the Army on that day.

In the last two weeks I have:

Remained the 24 Hour caregiver for my husband (10 appointments, 9 exercise sessions)

Managed many projects I have ongoing with my 2 children and we enjoyed each other’s company

Enjoyed time with my 2 grandchildren

Attempted to stay healthy physically (Pilates classes/back exercises)

Refreshed my heart through church and other gatherings

Helped others (Notarized documents, provided resources and followed up with people who weren’t feeling well)

Managed my small business At Your Service Concierge (Purchased annual business license, sought business growth advice and visited potential clients to provide estimates)

I always have an active ”to-do” list. Next time I write I will provide my list and report on how many I have accomplished.

On a final note, Saturday I attended a funeral with my husband for a beloved lady in our church. I never met her but her family and friends relayed so many sweet memories about her. Whenever I attend funerals I think about what will happen at mine. I am going to be cremated so there won’t be a visitation but I know my children and grandchildren will mourn me and my heart softens and I always get weepy. I feel rather confident God will let me stay here longer than He will my husband, so I never picture him at my future “home-going”. 

I also always ponder who will attend my funeral outside of family? My brother and sister are older than me- will they still be alive and be able to get here from New Jersey? I can’t be the only one who thinks about such scenarios!  One of the questions I would like to explore in my 59th year is why I was never able to develop strong female friendships. My first good one from highschool fell apart my first year in college. I have exhausted a lot of brain power trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong but I can admit that since I removed my birthday from Facebook, only two non-family ladies remembered my birthday and one friend wished me a Happy Mother’s Day. I am envious of the ladies who post that they are having a girls’ weekend or that they are getting together with friends they have known since grammar school. How do you feel about the term “Bestie”? 

Let’s start a dialogue ladies – let’s discuss the impact and blessings and disappointments we have experienced in female friendships.